Urban writings entry: 8:20:08

Politics: Freedom vs: Love


FREEDOM: (Political) – is the absence of interference with the sovereignty of an individual by the use of coercion or aggression.

LOVE: - In short, a range of emotions and experience related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.

And so I speak.
In term, freedom basically is the idea of being free. It stems from an old Indo-European root word, freedom, that they also used to describe as “to love.”
So as I sit here typing to you, basking in all of my freedom, I question my question on Love and Freedom and it’s relations, or Love and Freedom and my relations.
Those of you that are familiar with my writings, know that in the recent months, I have been talking in regards to a Mr. Foe. That’s Mr. Won D. Foe to you. A young man with whom I am, well, I really don’t know what you would call what we do. Any how, Mr. Foe has brought to my attention on several occasions, his freedom.
Now those of you that know me on a more personal level, know how I am, especially when it comes to and involvement of man, and MY freedom.

And so you listen.
It’s pretty rough talking to Mr. Foe about things so that’s why I have you guys…
For the most part I have been a free bird for the entire run thus far. Being a single mom hasn’t taken away from any of my freedom. What has happened is that now, I know how to prioritize my freedom. Or what us moms call it, “mommy time.” So right now it’s “mommy time” and I am talking to you. Life as I seek it, has a husband, that I am submissive to, children that I love and care for, and me that I adore. My Love, well it’s Mr. Foe. I have done the best that I can to allow myself, my life and my love, along with my freedom, to blossom into a perspective that is good enough for him to become his mate and prosper and continue together.
But that’s not enough.
Mr. Foe on the other hand, enjoys his freedom to the point where it replaces love. Fear that being with me makes him an un-free bird. Is my love that sheltering? Why should I give all of my love away to someone that would only use it at a convenience.
Love vs. Freedom, we are free to love. But we receive love at a cost? A cost that I pay for now. A cost that has me involved with someone that I care for, adore, wish to cherish eternally, marry, with no set predictions. No limits. But freedom is in the way.
Trust that fully understand freedom and all of its meanings. But having no limits to love, I myself am not free of love, therefore, trapped within my own freedom. How long can one go on loving freely, but receiving at a cost?
My relationship with Mr. Foe, seems far from real and closer to imaginary. I love him, he says he loves me, I want to be with him, he says he wants to be with me but he just likes his freedom right now he says and not ready to make that move. Not putting his business out there, Mr. Foe has had a little relationship miss-hap more than 5 years back, that he says to still be recovering from. 5 years, I wonder sometimes, is that how long it is going to take for him to come around? 5 years? How can the best thing that has happened to me in the last year be the most confusing? How can the one thing in life, freedom, that I should cherish being a Black Female, be the one thing that keeps me from whom I want to cherish?
I have given myself several time limits. Limits on love, limits on freedom, all of which, for my freedom, I have broken. Realizing now that I can not wait on freedom to love me, hold me, tell me it misses me, wants to see me.
Waiting for that to happen, I might as well lock myself up and throw away the key and say:

“To hell with freedom!!”